“I want these thoughts to stop. I fight them every day, but they keep coming back stronger.”

In my practice as a psychiatrist, I’ve heard this countless times from patients struggling with anxiety. Despite their efforts to silence distressing thoughts, the fear only tightens its grip.

That’s when I introduce a gentle yet powerful shift: acceptance.

“Instead of fighting your thoughts, what if you simply noticed them? Let them be?”

At first, this feels unnatural. But as they begin to observe their anxious thoughts without resistance, the thoughts lose their hold. What was once overwhelming starts to feel manageable.

Understanding Resistance

The phrase “What you resist, persists” is often attributed to Carl Jung and holds a profound psychological truth.

Resistance is our natural reaction to discomfort—emotional pain, fear, or unwanted thoughts. We try to push them away, deny them, or distract ourselves. The hope? That ignoring them will make them vanish.

But resisting emotions is like pushing a beach ball underwater. It may disappear for a moment, but the pressure builds—and it resurfaces stronger.

Why Resistance Backfires

When we resist, we create a struggle.

This internal battle fuels tension, anxiety, and emotional fatigue. Take someone with a fear of public speaking. By avoiding opportunities or obsessing over the fear, the anxiety only grows. It begins to limit their choices and chip away at their confidence.

The same happens with emotions like anger, guilt, or sadness. Suppressed, they may appear later as:

• Chronic stress
• Physical symptoms
• Irritability or burnout

Resistance doesn’t resolve the issue—it amplifies it.

The Power of Acceptance

Here’s the shift: acceptance isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.

Acceptance means observing our experiences without judgment, without trying to change or avoid them. It’s foundational to:

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
• Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn

By allowing thoughts and feelings to come and go, we break the cycle of inner conflict. The intensity reduces. Peace begins to emerge.

Practising Acceptance: Daily Tools

1. Mindfulness
   Be present. Notice your thoughts and feelings without attaching a story. Label them gently: “This is anxiety,” “Here’s frustration.”
2. Self-Compassion
   Speak to yourself as you would to a dear friend. It’s okay to feel discomfort. It’s part of being human.
3. Letting Go
   Don’t cling. Don’t resist. Allow your inner world to move—like clouds passing in the sky.
4. Seek Support
   If this feels too difficult to do alone, a therapist can guide you. You don’t have to walk this path by yourself.

Final Thoughts

The saying “What you resist, persists” is more than a catchy phrase. It reflects how our minds work—and how we can suffer less.

Acceptance is the way through.
Not by forcing change, but by allowing space. Not by fighting, but by understanding.

In that space of non-resistance, transformation happens.

Further Reading and Resources

Recommended Books

• The Happiness Trap by Dr. Russ Harris
  thehappinesstrap.com
  A practical guide to ACT and how acceptance leads to lasting change.
• Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
  tarabrach.com/books
  A beautiful blend of mindfulness and compassion practices.
• Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  mindfulnesscds.com/pages/books
  Simple, timeless teachings on mindfulness.
• Emotional Agility by Dr. Susan David
  susandavid.com/book
  Learn how to navigate emotions with curiosity and courage.

Online Resources

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT):
  contextualscience.org/act
• Mindfulness Practices & Free Meditations:
  mindful.org

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Read Dr Roshan Jain’s blogs and articles on emotional wellness, listen to Mind Matters podcast, View and subscribe to his YouTube channel Mindism

© Dr Roshan Jain 2 May 2025